Bonnie and Lu

Luanne and Bonnie looking beautiful for the Atlanta MDA Night of Hope Gala

Meet Bonnie and Lu, two ladies from my Monday night Bible study. They share a friendship so rare, I wrote their story for The Hometown Advantage Newspaper last November. I'll post it here in honor of Valentine's Weekend and our Father's love that flows into our lives in so ways:

They met in the halls of Vanderbilt Hospital, both concerned about one they loved. Luanne, the sister, and Bonnie, the girlfriend, hurried to Eddie’s side when pancreatic cancer forced him to travel by ambulance to Nashville, several hours from his home. Bonnie drove from Atlanta, Luanne, from Memphis.

Bonnie knew about Luanne. But Luanne had not heard about Bonnie—until Eddie confessed from the back of the ambulance via cellphone as they all converged on music city. The future sister-in-laws cared for Eddie and parted ways having no idea how their lives would eventually intertwine.

None of us do. But for them, it started on an internet dating site nine months earlier.

Divorced after a short marriage early in life, Bonnie remained single for years before she became the sole caregiver for her mom. Due to ongoing demands, she didn’t have much of a social life until after her mother died. Over fifty years old, she had dinner with a few frogs before finding her prince.

Eddie made it clear soon after they met online in January of 2007 that he’d been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. But their shared interests and love of life drew them together despite the prognosis.

“Eddie took each day as it came,” Bonnie remembers, “His favorite saying was, ‘Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about getting out there and dancing in the rain.’”

So when he begged her to meet him a month later in Birmingham—complete with driver’s license photo verification—she ignored her friend’s fears and packed a bag.  Soon they met monthly, whether for fun or chemo treatments. And six months later he took her home to meet his parents.

Not long after, she met Lu at the hospital and Eddie took disability and moved home, closer to Bonnie and his family.  An engagement ring soon appeared on her finger. And a year to the day they met on line, Bonnie and Eddie eloped. A simple, sweet wedding.

For eight months, Eddie was chemo free and they traveled. They camped, visited national parks, combined getaways with Bonnie’s work, and enjoyed the sweetness of new love.

By September of 2008, however, blood work indicated the cancer returned. Life calmed and Eddie started chemo again. Three weeks on, one off. The treatments were grueling, but at the end of the day, they had each other.

In mid-December, Bonnie fell at work, slid across the floor, and hit her elbows into the wall. Her fingers went numb and hurt for months. A neuro-surgeon diagnosed degenerative disk disease and performed surgery on her neck the following summer, expecting her hands to return to normal.

They got worse instead.

The determined duo made a few travel memories post-surgery. But then Eddie’s health slowly failed while Bonnie lost the ability to move her left arm.

By November, Eddie was worse but still able to help Bonnie dress. The day after Christmas, he fell and was admitted to a local hospital. Three days later, Bonnie saw a neurologist who said, “The only diagnosis for you I can’t rule out is ALS.” As she processed the disheartening news, she watched her husband slip from this life to the next. Seven days after he breathed his last.

 Enter Luanne.

She shared, “I’d been out of a job for almost a year. So after the funeral, I asked Bonnie, ‘Do you need me to drive you home?’ And I’ve been here ever since.”

 “There was so much to do,” she recalled. “We bonded and forged a team. Her left arm was useless and the right one was starting to go. Not only was Bonnie grieving the loss of her husband, she was facing a serious illness. There were a few times I thought, ‘I can’t do this, God. It’s too hard.’ And a song at church or a scripture I would read always brought peace.”

Bonnie offered, “Lu is a lot like Eddie. When I look at her, I see part of him. She laughs at the same things he laughed at and I love that about her. It reminds me of Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Lu has now lived with Bonnie longer than Bonnie was married to Eddie. They’re lives part of a patch work quilt knit together by God’s redemptive love.

Bonnie didn’t just find a husband on that internet dating site. She found a friend truer than many ever find—a sister by love—someone to care for her after she spent a lifetime pouring out.

Bonnie still has a journey ahead. But Lu is walking by her side.