True Confession

After a long day at the store, Don and I sat hand in hand watching dancers twirl on stage. Rich, interpretive ballets stirred the tired depths of my soul as we waited for Nathan to appear in his tap routine. During an applause break, Don leaned towards me and said, "I like being with you."

My response flowed with ease, "I like being with you too... especially when I don't think you're bossing me around."

Don chuckled, "What did you say?"

Surprised by my own words, I repeated, "I like being with you too... especially when I don't think you're bossing me around."

I whispered as the applause abated, "The important thing here is the word think. Cause at times I probably think you're bossing me around when you aren't; while at other times, I think you're bossing me around and you are, even if you don't realize it."

Since Don doesn't think I can read his mind, he doesn't believe I can claim he's bossing me around unless he thinks he's bossing me around, which on his planet he would never do. Female intuition aside, after almost three years of marriage, I'm fairly certain he's not aware of his tendency to keep me from coloring outside his carefully constructed lines, which leads me back to the place where I fear he's "bossing me around."

God surely scripted a divine romantic comedy when he put us together. Mr. Twenty-Five Years Happy Marriage met Ms. Ten-Years Single Mom. His learned dependence embraced my forced independence and we've been trying to figure things out ever since we spoke our vows at the altar.

That moment of brevity brought clarity to the conflict and for a moment it seemed manageable. If I can just remember he's not trying to tell me what to do every time I think he is, perhaps we'll breathe a bit easier as we manage a store and families side by side... yet on different planets.

My wise husband with kind eyes grinned at my honest confession. And I wondered how many times God has shaken his head while his independent children have strutted about, determined to maintain control.

He knows the best plan. He can see the biggest picture. He really wants to help. Even sent His son to die in our place. Yet time and again, we respond, "I like being with you... especially when I think you're not bossing me around."

Oh to let loose the reigns.

"You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don't see him, yet you trust him -- with laughter and singing." (1 Pet. 1:8, The Message)