Yesterday

Yesterday I started the day early at an FCA meeting at Kennesaw Mountain High School.

Then I went back to bed.

I crawled out of bed at 6:30 am because Sam, my senior in high school, leads worship there on Friday mornings and invited me to come. I'm not sure when I'll be invited again so I wasn't about to miss the moment.

If you had asked me a year ago, or even six months ago if I expected to hear my son lead worship in front of over thirty kids this fall, I would have replied, "Huh? Sam? With a guitar?"

Looking back, the first clue came the day we left for Florida in June. After the car was packed and sweat was pouring down Nathan's face, Sam walked out with his guitar and said, "Hey, can you make room for this?" Exasperated, older brother rearranged the trunk so the guitar fit.

He should have mentioned it earlier, but still, Sam wanted the guitar on vacation.

Two days later, he sang his first solo during family worship. And we were all surprised. There are a lot of singers in my family. But Sam always held back. Now two months after my surprise at the beach, I watched as he led worship with a whole new group.

He's in His grip.

There was a time I had to pay attention to a lot of clinical details and ignore doctor's blow offs and fight for a diagnosis. It was not an easy process. Learning to live outside the grip of that intensity is an entirely different process. I followed maternal nudges and held Sam close to get him what he needed medically. And now God is saying, "Let him go. I've got him. See?"

Yesterday was another step in that letting go for me.

And it was good.