Looking Back, Facing Forward

An unfamiliar noise interrupted my quiet coffee time while Nathan was home for spring break. He ignored my initial inquiry but eventually confessed he was scanning old photos. Back in Athens he uploaded them onto Facebook. Family vacations from as far back as 1998 can now be viewed on his Facebook page.

While I relish the memories, the photos that stood out to me most involved walking. Here's a few:

This is Nathan striking a dramatic pose at an entrance to the Superstition Mountains outside of Phoenix, Arizona.We took a trip there with his dad's family in 2000, when he was in second grade. We hiked this trail with cousins and aunts because his dad loved to hike this trail when he lived there years ago. My legs never faltered.

This is Nathan and Sammy and me at Camp Greystone in Tuxedo, North Carolina during family camp - a few years before we returned for two entire summers. Camp was beautiful, fun, busy, and tiring. My arms weren't always reliable, but during the summer months of '03 and '04 my legs took me everywhere I needed to go.

After our first summer at camp, my dad decided to retire as a Delta pilot.  His last trip took him to Paris and he wanted all of us with him.  Three planes carried nine members of our family across the ocean on passes.  Our last night in the city of lights included a special dinner hosted by dad for the entire crew and family.  I remember the walk to the restaurant well. The perfect weather. My favorite heels. The swanky dress my grandfather (who died months before) picked out. And my favorite little men - one on each side.

 I could have strolled through Paris for hours that night.

Now, all that has changed.

An orthopaedic doctor ordered an MRI of my ankle Tuesday after a neurologist ordered an MRI of my neck last week. My muscles and joints aren't working well. Some days I fight worry. Others I just ignore it all. But there's no denying my left leg works better if I wear a brace to stabilize the ankle.

More surgery? A permanent brace? I won't know the options for a month. And even then, deciding won't be easy.

But relishing the past has given me strength to face forward and let God continue to be God. Isn't that gracious of me?

"We also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." (Rom. 5: 3-5)

I loved walking free. But on my best days, I'm relearning that daily dependence is the best thing.

(Don't forget to check out susan schreer davis on Itunes)