Waiting

I'm waiting today. I'm waiting for a fax to make it's way through the Emory referral system so a scheduler can secure an appointment for me. I need to see a particular neuromuscular specialist who works at the Emory clinic once a month. As of Friday, there were a few appointments available on August 26th. But if that fax doesn't make it's way through the system I might get bumped to September.

This is where my emotions tend to derail.

I sent the fax on Friday. They asked me to fax it again today. There's nothing more I can do but wait till three o'clock and call again, hoping the computer highway doesn't fail me. I want to plead, "Please don't give that slot away. I have the referral in my hand. It's real. My insurance company agreed I need to go to Emory." But they can't see what I see, so until it arrives at the proper destination, I must wait.

When I found out last week that parts of Sam's genetic blood test had to be redone, and thus I had to practice more waiting, a pile of sludge covered my heart. Overwhelmed, I went for an evening walk. Green leaves offered a canopy overhead. Breezes blew. Birds sang. Crickets hummed. And I thought about life as one long wait for what's to come.

We ache for eternity. We might not know it, but since we're made for completion in Christ we long to be home with our Creator. We create happy moments here. We love our families. We celebrate life and even work to overcome the sin that entangles. But deep down, much of what we strive for fails to offer the satisfaction we desperately crave.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2Cor. 4:18)

As I walked with unsteady legs and aching ankles that night, I found comfort knowing that every day we live, we're waiting. Emory's folks will eventually find my fax. I'll get an appointment and Sam's blood test results will soon be finalized.

But even after that, I'll still be waiting.

Somehow that helped. While I can't seem to strengthen my physical muscles, I can surely strengthen my trust and patience in the process. We can text, fax, Fed-ex, and request fast food on the fly. But some days we just have to wait.