While I watched numerous Hallmark holiday specials this month, the Christmas oriented show I remember most was the Dec. 13th episode of NCIS, titled "Newborn King".
I'm not joking. I found it when I browsed our "on demand" listings two days after it aired.
[I also found this Star Wars nativity photo while browsing flickr, copyright Larry Lars. It captures wonder with stars and war so well].
No one was home and I was busy preparing dinner as the show progressed. But I left the kitchen and stood fixated in front of our TV when the bad guys got close and the end drew near. I even wiped a few tears before the episode concluded.
Yes... you can make fun of me now.
I'll skip a full synopsis and just explain what touched me. But you should stop reading here if you haven't seen the show and don't want to know the end - because it all came to a head in adjoining rooms of a run down gas station garage.
A blizzard raged. A simple rendition of "Silent Night" played in the background. Gibbs aided in the birth of a baby wanted by the government while Ziva fought Russian hit men in a fierce gunfight.
Wonder and war manifested right next to each other on a silent, holy night. And the picture presented the most accurate representation of the Christmas story I'd seen all month.
Don't get me wrong, I wish the story stopped at the end of Matthew chapter two and just skipped chapter three altogether. I would rather the Magi left Bethlehem and we never learn that "Herod gave orders to kill all the boys two years old and under in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi." (Matt. 3: 16) A Hallmark version without unbearable grief is far more palpable.
But life continues with wonder and war - even at Christmas - even during this Christmas.
Maybe it's because I'm still trying to decide if I should buy a mini-van or a mini-SUV so it can hold a scooter for me to ride on, accepting my legs aren't getting any better. Maybe it's because I had a shot in my back a week ago that scared me for two days when my leg cramped through two nights. Maybe it's because little Noah, a five year old boy who's fought mito all his life, almost didn't make it through the holiday (see: prayingfornoah.com) or because my friend Ann and her family have come through a tiresome journey as her husband recovers from a lung transplant.
The list goes on. But deep down, holding to wonder felt harder than normal this year; the reality of the war all too real for me and many others.
Which is why it moved me all the more that Silent Night played through it all. Indeed, "all is calm, all is bright" rings true even on the darkest of nights when the fight is real and the heart ache true.
Jesus didn't come to complete the nativity scenes we enjoy. He came to die on a cross to bring ultimate life for us all. Life for me. Life for Noah. Life for all who suffer, struggle, and give it up to the one true God whose plan of Salvation only began in a manger in Bethlehem.
"For he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." (Is. 53: 5)
Wonder. War. Jesus born. Oh come... let us adore.
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